{"id":129,"date":"2009-09-04T18:41:43","date_gmt":"2009-09-04T18:41:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/harpa.blogg.is\/2009-09-04\/dagur-i-dimmu\/"},"modified":"2009-09-04T18:41:43","modified_gmt":"2009-09-04T18:41:43","slug":"dagur-i-dimmu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/2009\/09\/04\/dagur-i-dimmu\/","title":{"rendered":"Dagur \u00ed dimmu"},"content":{"rendered":"

(\u00c9g s\u00e9 m\u00e9r h\u00e6ttir or\u00f0i\u00f0 til a\u00f0 stu\u00f0la bloggf\u00e6rslutitlana … kannski er \u00e9g or\u00f0in n\u00f3gu svarts\u00fdn til a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a n\u00fdr\u00f3mant\u00edskt sk\u00e1ld?)<\/p>\n

\u00cd morgun vakna\u00f0i \u00e9g kl. 5.13. \u00dea\u00f0 er \u00ed sj\u00e1lfu s\u00e9r ekki sl\u00e6mt og hefur oft komi\u00f0 fyrir \u00e1\u00f0ur. \u00cd morgun skalf \u00e9g hins vegar eins og hundur (af sundi dreginn) og laga\u00f0ist ekkert vi\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e6r g\u00f3\u00f0u morgunt\u00f6flur sem m\u00e9r er gert a\u00f0 eta.<\/p>\n

Um sj\u00f6leyti\u00f0 sat \u00e9g vi\u00f0 t\u00f6lvuna og reyndi a\u00f0 tala sj\u00e1lfa mig til: “Getur\u00f0u ekki bara teki\u00f0 eina extra t\u00f6flu og m\u00e6tt soldi\u00f0 slj\u00f3 \u00ed sk\u00f3lann? E\u00f0a g\u00e1\u00f0 hvort \u00fe\u00fa kemst ekki alla vega \u00ed f\u00f6t og sj\u00e1 svo til? E\u00f0a koma s\u00e9r \u00ed f\u00f6t og labba yfir g\u00f6tuna og kenna a.m.k. fyrri t\u00edmann?” (\u00deessari hugmynd var strax kasta\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed hafi ma\u00f0ur tv\u00edh\u00f3p er hryllingur \u00feegar kennslan lendir \u00e1 skj\u00f6n og annar h\u00f3purinn er \u00e1 undan \/ \u00e1 eftir hinum.)\u00a0 “Yr\u00f0ir\u00f0u ekki \u00e1n\u00e6g\u00f0ari me\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfa \u00feig ef \u00fe\u00fa n\u00e6\u00f0ir a\u00f0 kenna \u00feessa tvo t\u00edma og svo m\u00e1ttu bara fara undir s\u00e6ng og vera \u00fear?” Og svo \u00farslitar\u00e1\u00f0i\u00f0 sem er eggjun: “Ertu virkilega \u00fea\u00f0 mikill aumingi a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa getir ekki kennt ef \u00fe\u00fa a\u00f0eins s\u00edgur ni\u00f0ur \u00ed ge\u00f0slagi???”<\/p>\n

\u00dev\u00ed mi\u00f0ur h\u00f6f\u00f0u g\u00f3\u00f0ar r\u00e1\u00f0leggingar m\u00ednar ekkert a\u00f0 segja vi\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfa mig – og eggjuninni svara\u00f0i \u00e9g innan \u00ed m\u00e9r: “\u00dea\u00f0 er ekki til b\u00f3ta a\u00f0 skamma mann ef manni l\u00ed\u00f0ur virkilega illa!” (\u00c9g tek sk\u00fdrt fram a\u00f0 \u00e9g er ekki klofinn pers\u00f3nuleiki e\u00f0a neitt \u00fev\u00eduml\u00edkt \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g r\u00edsonneri vi\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfa mig st\u00f6ku sinnum. Einu sinni setti \u00e9g \u00fea\u00f0 m\u00e1l \u00feannig upp: Hva\u00f0a r\u00e1\u00f0 myndi \u00e9g gefa \u00f6\u00f0rum \u00ed s\u00f6mu st\u00f6\u00f0u? og vandi mig svo \u00e1 a\u00f0 gefa sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r \u00feau s\u00f6mu r\u00e1\u00f0.\u00a0 Stundum virkar \u00feetta trix pr\u00fd\u00f0ilega.)<\/p>\n

Tilhugsunin um a\u00f0 labba yfir g\u00f6tuna \u00ed vinnuna var svipu\u00f0 og \u00fea\u00f0 sem blasir vi\u00f0 L\u00edsu, \u00e1 myndinni sem \u00e9g \u00fej\u00f3fstal af vefnum.<\/p>\n

Ni\u00f0ursta\u00f0an var s\u00fa a\u00f0 best v\u00e6ri fyrir mig a\u00f0 skr\u00ed\u00f0a upp\u00ed r\u00fam og brei\u00f0a s\u00e6ng yfir h\u00f6fu\u00f0 og fara \u00ed kan\u00ednuleikinn (= \u00e9g l\u00edtil kan\u00edna \u00ed hl\u00fdrri og \u00f6ruggri holu). M\u00e9r \u00f3x um of \u00ed augum a\u00f0 komast \u00ed f\u00f6t og setja upp andlit og leika sk\u00f6rulegan og \u00e6\u00f0rulausan kennara \u00ed tv\u00e6r kennslustundir; performans dagsins var Melkorka vi\u00f0 l\u00e6kinn \u00ed brekkunni \u00e1 H\u00f6skuldsst\u00f6\u00f0um …\u00a0<\/p>\n

Svo \u00e9g sendi nemendum tilkynningu og skrifstofu sk\u00f3lans og melda\u00f0i mig veik. F\u00f3r svo og t\u00f3k aukapillu og f\u00f3r a\u00f0 sofa. S\u00ed\u00f0an er \u00e9g b\u00fain a\u00f0 sofa n\u00e1nast \u00ed allan dag.\u00a0 Inn \u00e1 milli hef \u00e9g veri\u00f0 sv\u00edvir\u00f0ilega g\u00f3\u00f0 vi\u00f0 mig \u00ed s\u00e6tinda\u00e1ti og kru\u00f0er\u00edis\u00e1ti. Ofsvefn \u00ed d\u00fdfu virkar eins og strokle\u00f0ur og n\u00e6r stundum a\u00f0 stroka \u00fat allar sl\u00e6mu tilfinningarnar og skj\u00e1lftann.<\/p>\n

Spurningin er n\u00e1tt\u00farlega “Af hverju?” Af hverju hrundi \u00e9g allt \u00ed einu \u00ed dag, hafandi veri\u00f0 \u00e1 mj\u00f6g g\u00f3\u00f0u r\u00f3li fr\u00e1 sk\u00f3labyrjun? M\u00e9r dettur \u00ed hug a\u00f0 eil\u00edtil minnkun \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed lyfinu sem \u00e1kve\u00f0inn l\u00e6knanemi taldi mig misnota mj\u00f6g hafi kannski skekkt hi\u00f0 g\u00f3\u00f0a jafnv\u00e6gi \u00f6rl\u00edti\u00f0, sem hafi veri\u00f0 n\u00f3g til a\u00f0 kasta m\u00e9r \u00fat \u00ed myrkur, \u00fe\u00f3 ekki ystu. E\u00f0a a\u00f0 \u00e9g hafi kannski ofreynt mig \u00ed g\u00e6r, vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 reita arfa \u00far gar\u00f0inum \u00ed einhverja klukkut\u00edma? Svo vir\u00f0ist a\u00f0 yfirleitt megi \u00e9g ekki breyta \u00fataf klausturlifna\u00f0arh\u00e1ttum e\u00f0a stundaskr\u00e1 \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 s\u00fapa af \u00fev\u00ed sey\u00f0i\u00f0 eftir \u00e1.<\/p>\n

\u00dea\u00f0 er \u00e6skilegt a\u00f0 n\u00e1 a\u00f0 minnka lyfi\u00f0 a tarna af \u00fev\u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 getur valdi\u00f0 minnistruflunum. Og af minnistruflunum hef \u00e9g fengi\u00f0 n\u00f3g. Aftur \u00e1 m\u00f3ti nota \u00e9g ekki \u00fea\u00f0 miki\u00f0 af lyfinu n\u00fana a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 ekki \u00ed himnalagi per se. (Og l\u00e6knaneminn eflaust enn \u00fat\u00ed hafsauga.)<\/p>\n

\u00dea\u00f0 er l\u00edka \u00e6skilegt a\u00f0 \u00e9g hreyfi mig \u00e1 hverjum degi en \u00f3\u00e6skilegt a\u00f0 gera um of af \u00fev\u00ed.<\/p>\n

\u00deetta eil\u00edfa “passa sig vel”-d\u00e6mi getur gert konu brj\u00e1la\u00f0a!<\/p>\n

Markmi\u00f0 helgarinnar er a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra a\u00f0 vaka fram undir mi\u00f0n\u00e6tti og reyna a\u00f0 sofa lengur \u00e1 morgnana. Sem og byrja lyfjatr\u00f6ppun aftur fr\u00e1 byrjunarreit.<\/p>\n

\u00c9g reikna svo me\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00feeir sem ekki hafa reynt svipa\u00f0 \u00e1 eigin skinni skilji l\u00edti\u00f0 \u00ed \u00feessari f\u00e6rslu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(\u00c9g s\u00e9 m\u00e9r h\u00e6ttir or\u00f0i\u00f0 til a\u00f0 stu\u00f0la bloggf\u00e6rslutitlana … kannski er \u00e9g or\u00f0in n\u00f3gu svarts\u00fdn til a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a n\u00fdr\u00f3mant\u00edskt sk\u00e1ld?) \u00cd morgun vakna\u00f0i \u00e9g kl. 5.13. \u00dea\u00f0 er \u00ed sj\u00e1lfu s\u00e9r ekki sl\u00e6mt og …<\/span> Read More …<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=129"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}