\u00c9g er heima \u00ed helgarleyfi, sem vi\u00f0 skulum vona a\u00f0 gangi betur en s\u00ed\u00f0asta tilraun, fyrir h\u00e1lfum m\u00e1nu\u00f0i. S\u00f3 far s\u00f3 g\u00fadd.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 er ind\u00e6lt a\u00f0 koma heim, sitja vi\u00f0 s\u00edna t\u00f6lvu \u00ed sinni stofu, \u00fevo f\u00f6tin s\u00edn \u00ed sinni \u00fevottav\u00e9l,\u00a0hitta karlmennina\u00a0s\u00edna (hef\u00f0i kannski \u00e1tt a\u00f0 ra\u00f0a \u00feessu fyrst \ud83d\ude09\u00a0en k\u00f6tturinn l\u00edtur hins vegar ekki vi\u00f0 m\u00e9r. Sennilega langr\u00e6kin, h\u00fan fr. J\u00f3sef\u00edna, og fyrirgefur m\u00e9r ekki a\u00f0 hafa yfirgefi\u00f0 sig fyrr en seint \u00ed kv\u00f6ld … jafnvel ekki fyrr en \u00e1 morgun. H\u00fan vill ekki einu sinni koma me\u00f0 \u00fat a\u00f0 reykja (hef \u00fe\u00f3 fr\u00e9tt a\u00f0 h\u00fan stundi \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 fara yfir g\u00f6tuna og vera me\u00f0virk me\u00f0 reykjandi kennurum og nemendum \u00e1 gangst\u00e9ttinni \u00fear) \u00fev\u00ed h\u00fan er \u00f6nnum kafin vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 taka fr\u00e1 minn part af hj\u00f3nar\u00faminu; \u00e1l\u00edtur sj\u00e1lfsagt a\u00f0 fr\u00e1tekt allan daginn og kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fd\u00f0i a\u00f0 \u00e9g sofi \u00e1 teppinu \u00ed stofus\u00f3fanum. J\u00f3sef\u00edna liggur \u00fev\u00ed einbeitt og stanslaust ofan \u00e1 s\u00e6nginni minni, vi\u00f0 koddann minn. Hm … (Og ma\u00f0urinn n\u00fdb\u00fainn a\u00f0 glopra \u00fev\u00ed \u00fat \u00far s\u00e9r \u00ed s\u00edmtali a\u00f0 n\u00fdja hj\u00e1sv\u00e6fan hans s\u00e9 m\u00fdkri en \u00e9g …)<\/p>\n
H\u00e9r \u00e1 heimilinu eru ekki ger\u00f0ar neinar s\u00e9rstakar kr\u00f6fur um a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e9 s\u00f3s\u00edal enda fj\u00f6lskyldan oft a\u00f0 bauka hver vi\u00f0 sitt. Enda eins gott \u00fev\u00ed \u00ed morgun vitja\u00f0i \u00feunglyndi\u00f0 m\u00edn strax \u00ed morguns\u00e1ri\u00f0 og \u00e9g held a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e9 n\u00e1kv\u00e6mlega jafnveik n\u00fana og \u00feegar \u00e9g lag\u00f0ist inn fyrir r\u00famum \u00feremur vikum. \u00dev\u00ed mi\u00f0ur.<\/p>\n
Lyfi\u00f0 sem \u00e9g er \u00e1 \u00e6tti a\u00f0 vera fari\u00f0 a\u00f0 s\u00fdna einhverja virkni n\u00fana en svo vir\u00f0ist ekki vera. \u00dev\u00ed hefur veri\u00f0 gefi\u00f0 undir f\u00f3tinn a\u00f0 h\u00e6kka skammtinn \u00ed n\u00e6stu viku ef enn hafa \u00fe\u00e1\u00a0ekki fengist nein \u00e1hrif. \u00c9g er or\u00f0in nokku\u00f0 verseru\u00f0 \u00ed miseitru\u00f0um matartegundum (me\u00f0 \u00feessu lyfi) og a\u00f0 hafa kannski enn l\u00e6gri bl\u00f3\u00f0\u00fer\u00fdsting en venjulega. Annars hef \u00e9g ekki sko\u00f0un \u00e1 lyfinu e\u00f0a l\u00e6knisa\u00f0ger\u00f0um: F\u00f3r inn me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed hugarfari a\u00f0 n\u00fa\u00a0stj\u00f3rni \u00e9g engu sj\u00e1lf\u00a0heldur \u00feiggi hj\u00e1lp og v\u00edsd\u00f3m f\u00f3lks\u00a0sem er miklu h\u00e6fara til a\u00f0 stj\u00f3rna\u00a0fyrir mig. \u00a0Fakt\u00edskt tek \u00e9g einungis einn dag \u00ed einu, reyndar oftast h\u00e1lfan dag \u00ed einu, eftirmiddag og kv\u00f6ld oft bara klukkustund \u00ed einu, og hugsa hvorki um fort\u00ed\u00f0 n\u00e9 framt\u00ed\u00f0, v\u00e6ntingar e\u00f0a kv\u00ed\u00f0v\u00e6nlegar framt\u00ed\u00f0arhorfur; Er a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a nokku\u00f0 flink \u00ed \u00feessari a\u00f0fer\u00f0. \u00deetta er nau\u00f0v\u00f6rn: Detti \u00e9g \u00ed a\u00f0 hugsa lengra fram \u00ed t\u00edmann en \u00feennan eina dag hellist helv. vonleysi\u00f0 yfir og kv\u00ed\u00f0ap\u00fakinn fitnar \u00e1 fj\u00f3sbitanum. \u00dea\u00f0 er vont. \u00deess vegna \u00e6fi \u00e9g mig vel \u00ed a\u00f0 hugsa\u00a0bara um n\u00fai\u00f0 og hugsa helst sem minnst.<\/p>\n
Enn hef \u00e9g lesblindu dau\u00f0ans og les \u00fev\u00ed\u00a0f\u00e1tt – sko\u00f0a heldur myndir \u00ed b\u00f3kum. Get ekki horft \u00e1 sj\u00f3nvarp, get ekki h\u00f6ndla\u00f0 fj\u00f6lmenni yfir ca. 2 manneskjur eftir kv\u00f6ldmat, get suma daga prj\u00f3na\u00f0 en t.d. var ein sl\u00e9tt-ein brug\u00f0in of fl\u00f3kin a\u00f0ger\u00f0 fyrir mig \u00ed morgun. Athyglisbrestur dau\u00f0ans fylgir \u00feessu \u00e1standi … \u00e9g hef t.d. l\u00f6ngu gefist upp \u00e1 a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 lesa matse\u00f0il dagsins \u00fev\u00ed tveimur skrefum fr\u00e1 uppl\u00fdsingat\u00f6flunni er \u00e9g b\u00fain a\u00f0 gleyma honum. \u00c9g hef tvisvar lent \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 geta ekki skrifa\u00f0 t\u00f6lvup\u00f3st, man ekki eftir a\u00f0 h\u00e6fileikinn til a\u00f0 skrifa hafi horfi\u00f0 \u00e1\u00f0ur svo \u00feetta er sennilega heldur sl\u00e6mt kast. \u00deegar allt er fari\u00f0 hlusta \u00e9g \u00e1 t\u00f3nlist og \u00fea\u00f0 reddar miklu.<\/p>\n
\u00cd svona \u00e1standi er best og tryggast a\u00f0 vera inni \u00e1 ge\u00f0deild og \u00e9g er mj\u00f6g s\u00e1tt og \u00e1n\u00e6g\u00f0 me\u00f0 deildina m\u00edna. Starfsf\u00f3lki\u00f0 er fr\u00e1b\u00e6rt og\u00a0dagskr\u00e1in sem bo\u00f0i\u00f0 er upp \u00e1 alveg n\u00f3gu vi\u00f0amikil fyrir mig, \u00fea\u00f0 er eiginlega fyrst n\u00fana \u00ed \u00feessari viku sem \u00e9g get a\u00f0eins n\u00fdtt m\u00e9r kyrr\u00f0arstundir og m\u00fas\u00edk\u00feerap\u00edu – f\u00f3r alltaf a\u00f0\u00a0sk\u00e6la of miki\u00f0 \u00ed sl\u00edku pr\u00f3grammi en h\u00f6ndla\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 nokku\u00f0 vel \u00ed vikunni sem n\u00fa er a\u00f0 lj\u00faka.\u00a0 \u00c9g f\u00e6 lyf til a\u00f0 sofa \u00fat n\u00f3ttina og losna vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 vakna \u00ed ofsakv\u00ed\u00f0akasti e\u00f0a ofsagr\u00e1tkasti klukkan 3 e\u00f0a 4 \u00e1 n\u00f3ttunni, sem er vitaskuld mikill l\u00e9ttir. Sj\u00faklingarnir eru\u00a0hi\u00f0 v\u00e6nsta f\u00f3lk en \u00e9g hef fyrir l\u00f6ngu sett m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00e1 stefnu a\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0a ekki samsj\u00faklinga \u00e1 bloggi og held a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 g\u00f3\u00f0 stefna.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 eina sem \u00e9g get sett \u00fat \u00e1 ge\u00f0deild er a\u00f0 reykingaa\u00f0sta\u00f0a sj\u00faklinga \u00fati er til h\u00e1borinnar skammar. M\u00e9r er sk\u00edtsama um l\u00f6g og reglur og reykingafasisma minnipokamanna: Reykingarnar eru kannski \u00fea\u00f0 eina sem ma\u00f0ur \u00e1 eftir og eina \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0an til a\u00f0 koma sj\u00faklingi a\u00f0eins \u00fat undir bert loft. M\u00e9r finnst \u00fea\u00f0 m\u00e6tti taka tillit til \u00feess. \u00dea\u00f0 er ekki eins og vi\u00f0 getum bara skroppi\u00f0 \u00ed huggulegt skj\u00f3l fyrir utan n\u00e6sta kaffih\u00fas e\u00f0a droppa\u00f0 inn heima hj\u00e1 okkur – m\u00f6rg erum vi\u00f0 of veik til a\u00f0 komast \u00fat af l\u00f3\u00f0inni. Og sv\u00e6\u00f0i\u00f0 vi\u00f0 g\u00f6mlu Hringbrautina er b\u00f6lva\u00f0 rokrassgat, ekki hva\u00f0 s\u00edst \u00ed augum manneskju sem b\u00fdr \u00e1 \u00feeim logns\u00e6la sta\u00f0 Skaganum \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n
Mitt vandam\u00e1l \u00fearna inni er nokkurs konar atvinnusj\u00fakd\u00f3mur.\u00a0Eftir a\u00f0 hafa kennt h\u00e1lflasin e\u00f0a lasin e\u00f0a hangi\u00f0 \u00e1 kennslunni fram \u00ed rau\u00f0an dau\u00f0ann oft undanfarin \u00e1r hef \u00e9g komi\u00f0 m\u00e9r upp svo g\u00f3\u00f0um gr\u00edmum a\u00f0 stundum \u00e1 starfsf\u00f3lki\u00f0 erfitt a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 \u00ed gegnum \u00fe\u00e6r.\u00a0Allir kennarar vita a\u00f0 ma\u00f0ur\u00a0labbar alltaf hress og skapg\u00f3\u00f0ur og me\u00f0 frontinn \u00ed lagi inn \u00ed kennslustund, alveg sama hvernig manni l\u00ed\u00f0ur\u00a0–\u00a0kennari sem v\u00e6lir getur\u00a0leita\u00f0 s\u00e9r a\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0ru starfi strax. Og svo hef\u00a0\u00e9g haft atvinnu af \u00fev\u00ed undanfarin 24 \u00e1r a\u00f0 tala og tala … marga klukkut\u00edma \u00e1 dag ef \u00fev\u00ed er a\u00f0 skipta. \u00deess vegna kem \u00e9g ekki fyrir sem d\u00e6miger\u00f0ur \u00feunglyndissj\u00faklingur; \u00e9g get tala\u00f0, hlusta\u00f0 og brosa\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3tt m\u00e9r l\u00ed\u00f0i eins og maran s\u00e9 a\u00f0 \u00ferykkja m\u00e9r ni\u00f0ur \u00ed d\u00fdpsta helv\u00edti. Sem betur fer\u00a0veit staffi\u00f0 af \u00feessum atvinnusj\u00fakd\u00f3mi og \u00fea\u00f0 er teki\u00f0 fullt mark \u00e1 m\u00e9r \u00feegar \u00e9g segist vera miki\u00f0 lasin\u00a0\u00feennan daginn, \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g hafi \u00ed sj\u00e1lfu s\u00e9r sm\u00e6la\u00f0 framan \u00ed heiminn sem best \u00e9g gat allan daginn.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00c9g hef \u00feurft a\u00f0 vera lei\u00f0inleg og afbo\u00f0a \/ af\u00feakka heims\u00f3knir talsvert. \u00dea\u00f0 er ekki af \u00fev\u00ed \u00e9g vilji ekki gjarna hitta gestina m\u00edna, suma \u00feeirra vildi \u00e9g einmitt mj\u00f6g gjarna hitta. En stundum er \u00e9g of veik til a\u00f0 treysta m\u00e9r til \u00feess a\u00f0 leika homo sapiens me\u00f0 bros \u00e1 v\u00f6r \u00ed einhverja stund. \u00c9g vona a\u00f0 \u00feeir sem \u00e9g hef sagt nei vi\u00f0 skilji \u00fea\u00f0. Og \u00fea\u00f0 er \u00e1g\u00e6tt, ef einhver vill heims\u00e6kja mig, a\u00f0 hringja fyrst e\u00f0a senda sms til a\u00f0 vita hvernig formi\u00f0 er \u00feann daginn. S\u00edman\u00fameri\u00f0 er 897 3659. R\u00e9tt a\u00f0 taka fram a\u00f0 \u00e9g h\u00f6ndla ekki l\u00f6ng s\u00edmt\u00f6l og einstaka sinnum get \u00e9g ekki svara\u00f0 \u00ed s\u00edmann.<\/p>\n
Plani\u00f0 n\u00fana? \u00c9g hef engin pl\u00f6n. Eftir r\u00famlega sex vikna dv\u00f6l \u00ed helv\u00edti hefur ma\u00f0ur ekki pl\u00f6n, ekki heldur vonir og ekki heldur vonleysi.\u00a0Seinnipartinn \u00e1 morgun\u00a0fer \u00e9g aftur \u00e1 deildina m\u00edna og held \u00e1fram a\u00f0 \u00e6fa mig \u00ed einum degi \u00ed einu, h\u00e1lfum degi \u00ed einu og klukkustund \u00ed einu. En \u00e9g er or\u00f0in ofbo\u00f0slega \u00fereytt og me\u00f0 \u00feessu \u00e1framhaldi mun \u00e9g l\u00edta \u00fat eins og\u00a0Auschwitz-fangi. \u00de\u00f3tt \u00e9g s\u00e9\u00a0\u00f3tr\u00falega dugleg a\u00f0 bor\u00f0a matinn \u00e1 sp\u00edtalanum (\u00fe\u00f3tt mig langi aldrei \u00ed hann\u00a0og\u00a0finni\u00a0aldrei fyrir svengd) \u00fe\u00e1\u00a0t\u00e1lga veikindin af m\u00e9r gr\u00f6mmin jafnt og \u00fe\u00e9tt.<\/p>\n
\u00deessi f\u00e6rsla er harmagr\u00e1tur. En \u00fev\u00ed mi\u00f0ur er \u00e1kaflega f\u00e1tt gle\u00f0ilegt\u00a0vi\u00f0 alvarlega ge\u00f0l\u00e6g\u00f0.\u00a0Helsti tilgangur svona f\u00e6rslu er a\u00f0 tj\u00e1 mig – \u00fea\u00f0 hef \u00e9g alltaf \u00e1tt au\u00f0veldara me\u00f0 \u00ed riti en r\u00e6\u00f0u \u00feegar heilinn er frosinn – og kannski gagnast \u00fea\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0rum\u00a0me\u00f0 svipa\u00f0a sj\u00fakd\u00f3ma a\u00f0 vita a\u00f0\u00a0vi\u00f0 erum m\u00f6rg – og hugsanlega opnar h\u00fan augu einhvers sem rekst h\u00e9r inn\u00a0\u00e1 bloggi\u00f0 og veit l\u00edti\u00f0 um ge\u00f0sj\u00fakd\u00f3ma. \u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00c9g er heima \u00ed helgarleyfi, sem vi\u00f0 skulum vona a\u00f0 gangi betur en s\u00ed\u00f0asta tilraun, fyrir h\u00e1lfum m\u00e1nu\u00f0i. S\u00f3 far s\u00f3 g\u00fadd. \u00dea\u00f0 er ind\u00e6lt a\u00f0 koma heim, sitja vi\u00f0 s\u00edna t\u00f6lvu \u00ed sinni stofu, …<\/span> Read More …<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-291","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/291","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=291"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/291\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}