er \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00e9g \u00e6fi mig \u00ed \u00feessa dagana. \u00c9g er alltaf \u00feunglynd, mismiki\u00f0 sem betur fer, og sm\u00e1m saman \u00e6fist \u00e9g \u00ed a\u00f0 t\u00e6kla \u00feunglyndi\u00f0, yfirleitt umhugsunarlaust en ef \u00fea\u00f0 eykst \u00fearf vissa vandvirkni \u00e1 hverjum degi til a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta sj\u00fakd\u00f3minn ekki trufla l\u00edf mitt of miki\u00f0.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 sem plagar mig einkum n\u00fana eru draugatilfinningar og “j\u00f3rturhugsanir” (ruminative thoughts) sem \u00feeim fylgja. Svona draugatilfinningar eru tilfinningar sem kvikna \u00fat \u00ed bl\u00e1inn, \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 h\u00e6gt s\u00e9 a\u00f0 tengja \u00fe\u00e6r vi\u00f0 atvik e\u00f0a tilefni e\u00f0a \u00fe\u00e6r kvikna af einhverju \u00f3merkilegu tilefni og eru \u00ed engu samr\u00e6mi vi\u00f0 tilefni\u00f0: Eins og draugaverkir \u00ed l\u00f6ngu horfnum \u00fatlim.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 sem h\u00e6gt er a\u00f0 gera til a\u00f0 sl\u00e1 \u00e1 \u00feetta er a\u00f0 beita heilbrig\u00f0ri skynsemi, hugsanalei\u00f0r\u00e9ttingu eins og kennt er \u00ed HAM. Sem d\u00e6mi m\u00e6tti taka a\u00f0 \u00e1 f\u00f6studaginn fyrir viku s\u00ed\u00f0an \u00e1kva\u00f0 \u00e9g, \u00ed flj\u00f3tr\u00e6\u00f0i, a\u00f0 beita hall\u00e6rislei\u00f0r\u00e9ttingu \u00e1 stykki sem nemandi var a\u00f0 prj\u00f3na: Lykkjurnar voru of margar, nemandinn b\u00fainn a\u00f0 rekja upp einu sinni e\u00f0a tvisvar \u00e1\u00f0ur, munstri\u00f0 passa\u00f0i ekki og \u00e9g \u00e1kva\u00f0 a\u00f0 prj\u00f3na bara saman tv\u00e6r lykkjur svo munstri\u00f0 passa\u00f0i. Svo helltist yfir mig vi\u00f0bj\u00f3\u00f0sleg tilfinning, l\u00edktist eiginlega mest \u00feeirri sk\u00f6mm og algeru \u00f6rv\u00e6ntingu sem alki finnur fyrir daginn eftir a\u00f0 hafa delera\u00f0 r\u00e6kilega \u00e1 fyller\u00edi! Hvernig gat \u00e9g gert \u00feetta! Hvernig \u00ed \u00f3sk\u00f6punum datt svona aula eins og m\u00e9r \u00ed hug a\u00f0 \u00e9g g\u00e6ti kennt prj\u00f3n! Hva\u00f0 segja amma og mamma og langfr\u00e6nkur nemandans \u00feegar \u00fe\u00e6r komast a\u00f0 \u00feessu! hugsa\u00f0i \u00e9g og hugsa\u00f0i og hugsa\u00f0i ekki um neitt anna\u00f0 fram \u00e1 sunnudag, \u00feegar \u00e9g tala\u00f0i um \u00feetta \u00e1 AA fundi og tilfinningin hvarf. N\u00fa er \u00e9g ekki a\u00f0 m\u00e6la \u00fev\u00ed b\u00f3t a\u00f0 vanda ekki prj\u00f3naskapinn og lofa a\u00f0 prj\u00f3na aldrei aftur saman tv\u00e6r lykkjur \u00e1 peysubol ef munstri\u00f0 passar ekki … en \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 finnast ma\u00f0ur ekki geta horft framan \u00ed nokkurn mann framar \u00fat af svonal\u00f6gu\u00f0u er vitaskuld ekki normal og bendir til \u00feess a\u00f0 heilinn s\u00e9 ekki alveg \u00ed lagi \u00fe\u00e1 stundina.<\/p>\n
\u00cd \u00feessari viku t\u00f3k \u00e9g eftir a\u00f0 einn samstarfsf\u00e9lagi minn leit eitthva\u00f0 undarlega \u00e1 mig \u00e1 kennarastofunni, e\u00f0a m\u00e9r fannst eitt augnablik a\u00f0 kolleginn liti undarlega \u00e1 mig. Svo f\u00f3r hausinn \u00e1 spinn: L\u00edklega finnst henni a\u00f0 \u00e9g tali allt of miki\u00f0 => l\u00edklega finnst henni og m\u00f6rgum \u00f6\u00f0rum a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e9 algerlega \u00f3\u00feolandi => l\u00edklega eru allir a\u00f0 hugsa: Af hverju var h\u00fan a\u00f0 koma aftur til starfa? => o.s.fr. Hugsanir um \u00feetta sp\u00f3lu\u00f0u hring eftir hring \u00ed hausnum \u00e1 m\u00e9r og \u00fea\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fd\u00f0ir ekkert a\u00f0 segja s\u00e9r a\u00f0 \u00feetta s\u00e9 bara vitleysa \u00ed manni, einf\u00f6ld skilabo\u00f0 \u00feannig stoppa ekki tilfinninguna um a\u00f0 vera \u00f3alandi og \u00f3ferjandi og utan vi\u00f0 mannlegt samf\u00e9lag.<\/p>\n
Svo \u00e9g t\u00f3k mig taki og hugsa\u00f0i skipulega um \u00feetta. Hversu l\u00edklegt er a\u00f0 f\u00f3lki finnist \u00e9g tala of miki\u00f0? Heldur \u00f3l\u00edklegt a\u00f0 margir s\u00e9u a\u00f0 sp\u00e1 \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0, \u00fea\u00f0 kjaftar hver tuskan \u00e1 m\u00f6rgum \u00e1 kennarastofunni og \u00e9g sit \u00fear einungis \u00ed matart\u00edma fj\u00f3rum sinnum \u00ed viku og \u00f3l\u00edklegt a\u00f0 f\u00f3lk s\u00e9 almennt me\u00f0 t\u00edmam\u00e6lingu \u00e1 tali akk\u00farat \u00ed \u00feeim matart\u00edmum. Kannski tala \u00e9g of miki\u00f0 af \u00fev\u00ed \u00feetta er um \u00fea\u00f0 bil eina t\u00e6kif\u00e6ri dagsins til a\u00f0 tala vi\u00f0 a\u00f0ra en ketti og s\u00f3 what? Og kolleginn sem horf\u00f0i \u00e1 mig var kannski a\u00f0 hugsa um eitthva\u00f0 allt anna\u00f0, raunar finnst m\u00e9r \u00fea\u00f0 tr\u00falegast. Svo af hverju \u00e6tti \u00e9g a\u00f0 vera me\u00f0 m\u00f3ral yfir einhverju sem \u00e9g held a\u00f0 einhver hafi kannski veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 hugsa en var kannski alls ekkert a\u00f0 hugsa \u00fea\u00f0? Og hva\u00f0 geri \u00e9g sj\u00e1lf ef m\u00e9r finnst einhver tala of miki\u00f0? Raunar geri \u00e9g ekki neitt og f\u00f3lk fer sjaldnast \u00ed taugarnar \u00e1 m\u00e9r … en ef svo b\u00e6ri vi\u00f0 myndi \u00e9g v\u00e6ntanlega bara f\u00e6ra mig … Svo get \u00e9g engan veginn teki\u00f0 \u00e1byrg\u00f0 \u00e1 hva\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0rum finnst um eitthva\u00f0 \u00ed umhverfinu og \u00e6tti a\u00f0 h\u00e6tta a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 lesa hugsanir enda les \u00e9g \u00fe\u00e6r \u00f6rugglega jafn vitlaust og a\u00f0rir … O.sfr. \u00deannig er hugsanalei\u00f0r\u00e9tting \ud83d\ude09 Og svona eru j\u00f3rturhugsanir: Manni dettur eitthva\u00f0 \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gilegt \u00ed hug eitt andartak en \u00f6fugt vi\u00f0 normal \u00feankagang sp\u00f3lar ma\u00f0ur \u00feessa \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gindakennd aftur og aftur \u00ed hausnum eins og bila\u00f0a gramm\u00f3f\u00f3npl\u00f6tu \u00ed gamla daga og spinnur sig ni\u00f0ur \u00ed verulega b\u00e1gt s\u00e1lar\u00e1stand.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 er frekar lei\u00f0inlegt a\u00f0 \u00feurfa a\u00f0 stunda hugsanalei\u00f0r\u00e9ttingu \u00e1 hverjum degi. En \u00fea\u00f0 er nau\u00f0synlegt \u00ed \u00feunglyndi. Flestir kannast vi\u00f0 eitthva\u00f0 svona sem \u00e9g l\u00fdsti a\u00f0 ofan en \u00fea\u00f0 sem er smotter\u00ed og kemur sjaldan fyrir heilbrigt f\u00f3lk margfaldast og ver\u00f0ur meirih\u00e1ttar \u00ed \u00feunglyndi. Af \u00fev\u00ed allir hafa reynslu af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vera svol\u00edti\u00f0 domm og l\u00ed\u00f0a illa einstaka sinnum en n\u00e1 a\u00f0 r\u00edfa sig upp me\u00f0 tilt\u00f6lulega l\u00edtilli fyrirh\u00f6fn eiga s\u00f6mu allir stundum erfitt me\u00f0 a\u00f0 skilja af hverju \u00feunglyndir geta ekki gert \u00feetta sama, gera s\u00e9r ekki grein fyrir margf\u00f6ldunar\u00e1hrifunum sem fylgja sj\u00fakd\u00f3mnum. Alveg eins og s\u00e1 sem hefur fengi\u00f0 har\u00f0sperrur en l\u00ed\u00f0ur annars alla jafna pr\u00fd\u00f0ilega getur illa sett sig \u00ed spor f\u00f3lks me\u00f0 sl\u00e6ma gigt. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
er \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00e9g \u00e6fi mig \u00ed \u00feessa dagana. \u00c9g er alltaf \u00feunglynd, mismiki\u00f0 sem betur fer, og sm\u00e1m saman \u00e6fist \u00e9g \u00ed a\u00f0 t\u00e6kla \u00feunglyndi\u00f0, yfirleitt umhugsunarlaust en ef \u00fea\u00f0 eykst \u00fearf vissa vandvirkni …<\/span> Read More …<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-522","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thunglyndid"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/522","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=522"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/522\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":548,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/522\/revisions\/548"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=522"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=522"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harpahreins.com\/blogg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=522"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}